2009...

As I look at the calendar, I realize it's now almost the third day of December, and I wonder where November has gone... in fact, where all of 2009 has gone. But the truth is that so much has happened this year in my personal life that it just seems to have gone fast because my head has been really stuck in constantly revolving waters. This year, particularly the second half, has been full of ups and downs. Full of happy moments coupled with moments of sadness and anger. Full of epiphanies and disillusions. Full of hope and despair. Many big plans that came to nothing. Promises unfulfilled. I have really learned and appreciated the truth in the cliché of the thin line between love and hate. All these extremes have contributed for my physical, mental, and emotional health to deteriorate significantly. But at the same time, I feel that all these events have made me grow as a person. Never in such a short period have I learned so many lessons, a lot of them about myself. I made some great new friendships, reconnected with old friends, and discovered new passions in life. I have discovered some facets of my persona that I never knew, and in some ways, through moments of joy and pain that I had to endure, I had to reinvent myself to carry on. I had to reevaluate many things I thought I believed about my own goals in life and about who I am. Some of the hard times I went through helped me fall back in love with myself. Because of these things, I'm glad and thankful that everything happened the way they did at the times that they did, even if some of the outcomes were not very pleasant for me, because the combination of events and their timings contributed to shaping the learning experience. It has been an eventful year - perhaps the most important thus far in my relatively short life, where I face the first significant crossroads. In the moments of uncertainty that I will certainly have to confront, I believe that the lessons learned this year, many of them the hard way, will help me make the best decisions. In a way, it feels like 2009 is the year where I was reborn as I emerge from a shell I have been hiding in.

I want to take this opportunity to thank every one of you who have helped me learn, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and even all those who have at some point, intentionally or unintentionally, hurt me or disappointed me, because at the end it has helped to shape my perceptions of my internal and external conscience. Thank you, new friends and old friends, and also thank you to even those who aren't such good friends - at least that would show I'm not a suck up and friends with everyone. In short, the year 2009 has been really fucked up, in almost every aspect, but mostly in a good way. This pretty much synthesizes it. I cannot thank you enough, everyone.

Now I only hope that in 2010 the lessons learned this year really seep in while also being able to recover my health. More importantly, I also hope that I can keep on learning about life. That is the most important... Never stop learning.

"What is your tango dancing level?"

I specifically remember within taking my first few tango lessons, when I got over the dancing shyness to ask a lady for a dance, that I sometimes asked what their dancing level was. And indeed, in some communities people categorize dancers into levels. For instance, when referring to someone, one might say "she's an intermediate dancer", or when talking about an event, it might be said "this event is open for intermediate level dancers or better". And I've read slightly condescending remarks in blogs such as "when I was a beginner", "beginners think such and such", etc.

I personally disagree with such simplistic characterizations. I have on occasion caught myself talking in terms of levels, but I make it a point not to talk or think in those terms. Sometimes during classes when I dance with newcomers, I tell them that I too am a 'beginner', not only to put them at ease, but also because, at a year and a half, I am by no means a seasoned veteran. More importantly, such distinctions give the impression that one has achieved a 'tango nirvana' or found the tango holy grail, which I have not, if there indeed are such things.

Even more importantly, I find that I continually learn or realize something new, whether it be something concrete and noticeable or something really subtle, albeit no less relevant. I don't think I'll refer to myself as an intermediate, let alone advanced, dancer even if I keep on dancing for the few decades to come, as I intend to do. I find that tango, internally and externally, continually evolves. If I start considering myself as anything other than a student of tango (and, by extension, life), I fear I'd become complacent and stagnate with respect to an ever evolving tango, and regress. So this is why I don't refer to my dance in terms of levels. Some people might have thought I do this based on false modesty, but above is the true reason.

No matter how many workshops I take, learning thousands of fancy steps and moves, polishing perfect technique, I believe there is so much more to tango than that. There are so many nuances, so many subtleties, yet to be discovered in my tango journey, that no amount of moves I can do with perfect technique will qualify me, at least, as advanced. So here's to being an eternal 'beginner'. May every step forward we take make us realize how much more there is to be discovered.

On another note, maybe I should start organizing my thoughts before I start writing... what an incoherent cluster of rambling.....

Dips in Tango?

Without pointing any fingers, I am disturbed on how much some people have utter disregard of others on the dance floor. Yes, I have been guilty in many of the collisions that happen at milongas. And yes, sometimes I do tend to get creative on the dance floor. But there's a line beyond which whatever is being danced ceases being tango. In my opinion, dips are way beyond this line. Seriously? Come on... this is tango, not latin/ballroom/lindy-hop/whatever it is you used to dance before you started trying out tango. Besides, it doesn't even look that good. Maybe... just maybe, if it is executed well such that it fits the dramatism of the music, it's acceptable for stage performances. But no, some people do it right there on the dance floor, putting in danger the physical integrity of the partner and others around. Don't do this! It's a milonga, not a dance contest. Don't dance for others to look good, nobody gives a damn. Dance for yourselves. In other words, don't do dips... please.

End of rant

Pata chueca... a matter of aesthetics or a symptom of bad body dynamics?

It is difficult to tell in the picture above whether I am dancing tango or, as Amiralí 'Pata Chueca' has remarked, I am dying to go to the restroom. The foot positioning with respect to each other, to say the very least, does not look elegant. Indeed, it looks like I'm barely holding everything in my bladder. But is it just a matter of aesthetics?

Pata chueca... in colloquial Spanish, it roughly translates to 'crooked feet', and it's becoming somewhat prevalent in milonga floors around the world. It first came to my attention during a private lesson taught by Humberto Décima, who noticed I was pointing my leg in rather awkward angles during sacadas in what I suspect was an unconscious attempt not to step on the follower. Graphically speaking, the toes are pointing inwards, as opposed to slightly outwards, which seems to be more pleasing to the eyes. Pata chueca seems to be a condition that afflicts dancers indiscriminately, regardless of level of dancing... It happens even to the best - I've captured some moments of Chicho and Pablo both doing pata chueca:
Though partially hidden by Noelia's leg, the pata chueca is clear.
There is also Chicho and Juana on the right, with Chicho's left leg lagging behind in motion.

It happens to both leaders and followers. I've observed the pata chueca phenomenon more often in leaders than in followers, especially for performance level dancers, but followers are not immune to the pata chueca.
Fellow tanguero "Maní Salá" commented to me how he realized that some previous teachers in our community had erroneously told followers to push off the floor to create momentum for pivoting, as opposed to the smoother, more preferable pivoting created by the rotation of the torso, and that had caused many followers to have a rather stiff embrace and be imbalanced. I cannot disagree, and I also think that pushing off the floor to create pivoting may be one of the causes of pata chueca... Some photographic evidence of followers' pata chueca:

I believe that if the pivoting momentum when changing directions comes from the torso rather than from pushing the floor, it will be easier to achieve balance on the ball of the foot, which would prevent one of the feet getting stuck static while the rest of the body rotates. All praise is due to Salah for his acute observations.

As for the leaders, I've noticed the pata chueca occurs generally when doing steps involving change in direction, especially giros/enrosques:
Maybe we get lazy and leave the trailing foot pivoting till the last minute, or when it's too late to avoid the 'want to go to the restroom' look.

I admit it... I am a Sebastian Arce-Mariana Montes fan boy. They are an incredible couple, and though they do many more intricate moves that seem to break the laws of physics, whenever they do a sequence of giros with enrosques, the crowd, wherever it is they are performing, without fail, go berserk with applause. Indeed they look smooth while Mariana dances around while Sebas marks the way, almost as if they were skating on ice. I have not been able to catch him with pata chueca.**** I've noticed that whenever he makes turns, he places his weight on the ball of the supporting foot. This allows him to pivot more easily, with little to no lag time between the foot pivoting and the rest of the body rotating. I've tried this, and it's a little hard on the calves... Gotta start training them harder for better balance and better pivoting.

So yes... pata chueca looks pretty ugly, but it also signals deficient technique, which probably leads to turns not being as smooth as they could and should be.

PS: I mean no offense to the people whose pictures I posted or feel alluded to; for that purpose, I posted a picture of myself at the top to show that I am guilty of it too. It's meant to be constructive critique.


**** Edited Nov. 12th 2009:
I was able to catch Sebas doing pata chueca... now you can't accuse me of being biased:
So yeah... basically the best of the best (Sebas, Pablo, Chicho) do pata chueca at some point. With them, though, the pivoting is so quick that the pata chueca lasts no more than a fraction of a second. Maybe that's what needs to be done.

The virus we should all fear

I haven't updated this for a while. Probably nobody gives a shit, but somebody might check it every now and then to see if I uploaded some weird drawings. Indeed, very weird things have been drawn by me between the last update and today, but I haven't uploaded them because of a combination of laziness and fucking kids using Facebook on the computer labs with scanners when they should be letting me do productive things, such as publishing strange sketches that perhaps nobody will see. The point about kids on Facebook brings me to what I want to talk about. What the fuck is up with college kids? In essentially every class I hear the professors warn us about swine flu/type A flu/H1A1 flu/or whatever the new obscure flavor-of-the-month code is now. But I have observed a far more alarming trend prevalent in young people (18-24, a range in which I fall). The youth that is supposed to be the leadership of humanity in future years is losing the ability to speak. No, this is not a bigoted tirade against immigrants, because these people I am referring to do not speak any better than "fresh off the boat immigrants". In fact, it can be argued that it could be worse. In my environmental policy class, students are encouraged to participate in class. Underclassmen are typically over-enthusiastic about getting full credit of the large chunk of the final grade the 5% participation/attendance represents for one of the grading methods (at the end of the semester, two methods are used, and the lower one is discarded. The second method does not include participation). As such, when one of these kids participates, it makes me cringe. Not only because they usually have nothing worthy of contribution, but because their vocabulary seems to consist of 20 words, and that might be overestimating. In particular, the word "like" is preferred. I decided to do a little experiment and count the number of times every participant uttered such word (bonus points when starting a sentence with that word): for a participation time of 15-20 seconds, the aforementioned word was pronounced, in most cases unnecessarily, between 5-16 times. Six fucking teen times! Is this not alarming? What is going on? Is this the MTV virus? The Facebook virus? Stupidity virus? Whatever it is, I'd rather get swine flu. That way I don't have to go to class and expose myself to that terrifying disease.
Some of you nice-word nazis might be thinking I have the "profanity virus". Firstly, I don't use this much profanity normally, but I am that concerned. Secondly, I'd rather say the word 'fuck' than 'like'. I 'like' it more.

As a side note, this trend had been previously observed a few years back in my old journal: http://bitchyrant.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!B3EEDBDBD7B6B151!549.entry and http://bitchyrant.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!B3EEDBDBD7B6B151!552.entry , but I had forgotten about the potency of the decay of human speech as I submerged into a bubble of core curriculum classes where speaking is highly discouraged implicitly, and its students are, for the most part, immune to this stupidity virus. Now I emerge from this bubble, and I want to run away.

Round 2

Here is another one (see previous post for background)


Edit: Yeah... so since I'm supposed to be busy doing important stuff (read: senior design, 470 project report, PDE homework+project), I decided to prioritize and do round 3 as well. I made some changes on the facial structure of my vegan adversary. yeah...

Vegans yummmmmmmmmmmmm

Sometime last week, I sent a letter to the Exponent about solving the world's problems by cannibalizing vegans: http://www.purdueexponent.org/?module=article&story_id=16261

When I wrote it, I expected a few people here and there to be offended, but I did not expect it to be taken seriously, as it was not meant to be serious. I got a pretty detailed rebuke: http://www.examiner.com/x-4348-Phoenix-Vegan-Examiner~y2009m4d16-A-direct-refutation-on-why-eating-vegans-will-not-help-the-environment-nor-end-hunger

Damn... RAWR!

Hah, I really enjoyed that response.

Here is my response to her:

Enjoy