PS: My apologies for the poor quality scanning. Blame ITaP and their inability to have Photoshop for the summer. WTF?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Conclusión orgásmica de la Eurocopa
Self explanatory
PS: My apologies for the poor quality scanning. Blame ITaP and their inability to have Photoshop for the summer. WTF?
PS: My apologies for the poor quality scanning. Blame ITaP and their inability to have Photoshop for the summer. WTF?
Friday, June 20, 2008
3 more drawings and a football rant
Good morning, viewers of my sketches of surreal dreams, visions, and hallucinations.
Today, I present you three new entries. The first two are self explanatory, illustrating my struggle with insomnia and excessive caffeine.
This one has the player that has been called by media worldwide the best player in the world. I disagree with such ludicrous assessment. I consider Cristiano Ronaldo to be one of the most, if not the most, skillful footballer today. That does not necessarily make him the best. From what I have observed, there are three main things that separate him from the likes of Kaká, Messi, or Zidane (back in the day).
Firstly, he is a fucking whiny pussy, as was seen yesterday against Germany. It's been repeatedly shown that he is a prick, a diver, and an actress. Yesterday, I think it was Bastian Schweinsteiger (sp?) that tackled him, then leaped to avoid colliding against a Cristiano Ronaldo who was, unsurprisingly, already down calling for a foul. As Schweinwhateverhisnameis skipped him, Cristiano Ronaldo started rolling on the floor acting as if Schaelrhsejlanfnl had stomped on his shin, though I am sure there was no contact after the initial tackle. But that is just an example of his many antics. Brits remember the incident during the world cup in 2006 when he incited the referee to show his Man U teammate, Wayne Rooney, a red card. Whether or not the red card was deserved is a different matter, but that is not what you do to your club teammate. And now he is backstabbing his club, Man U, flirting with the shittiest team in the world, Real Madrid. What a fucking douche. I hope he goes there so I can channel all my contempt to the Spanish capital. Also, though I am no fan of the German National Team, I am very glad that Portugal are out. Deco showed he has more balls than the overrated ballerina will ever have.
Secondly, he repeatedly performs the same magic trick in the most important games. With the flick of a hand, he disappears for extended periods of time. Whether it is an extension of him being a pussy who cannot handle the pressure or it is him being marked out of the game, or a combination of both, it does not matter. This has happened so consistently in big games that it cannot be reasonably attributed to an off game, or whatever excuses his fan boys come up with. It is not a trait of a great player. The likes of Pelé, Maradona, Van Basten, Zidane, Cruyff (except the '74 final, of course), et al have consistently lived up to their expectations with awe inspiring performances when it most mattered, not in a match against Derby or Reading.
And lastly, but most importantly, a skillful player is nothing if he does not have the brain to make use of the trickery. He seems to be mentally retarded on the ball, not counting games against the likes of Wolverhampton or Birmingham, where he has kilometres of free space to afford to be a moron on the ball but still punish even more retarded overly eager Brit defenders (this is why, in my opinion, his season statistics are so flattering). But against good, or even decent, teams where defenses are organised and well positioned, an extra touch or extra fraction of a second holding on to the ball can lead to your offense running against a wall. I've seen this happen so many times with him, and I wish I had the memory and resources to come up with detailed examples. But the one that most sticks to memory, not because of magnitude but because it was yesterday, is in Portugal's goal. Cristina showed great technical skill controlling Simao's pass and setting himself against Lehman, but he took an extra fraction of a second to shoot the ball, leading him to a worse angle facing the goal. Fortunately for Portugal, the bounce fell on Nuno Gomes's boots and from there to the goal net. But in many other instances I have seen countless examples of CR's poor, or questionable at best, decision making. This may also be related to him being a pussy and making bad decisions under pressure.
OK, so the post turns out to be longer than I expected it to be. And though this is an art blog to post my drawings, those of you who know me personally knew it was only a matter of time before I talked about football. I could go on forever. By the way, the other guy next to Ronaldo is Javier, some Manure fan boy.
On another note, this makes June the most prolific month of this blog's history. OK, this isn't saying much, but that's beside the point.
I'll draw some more shit and post it later.
Bye
Today, I present you three new entries. The first two are self explanatory, illustrating my struggle with insomnia and excessive caffeine.
This one has the player that has been called by media worldwide the best player in the world. I disagree with such ludicrous assessment. I consider Cristiano Ronaldo to be one of the most, if not the most, skillful footballer today. That does not necessarily make him the best. From what I have observed, there are three main things that separate him from the likes of Kaká, Messi, or Zidane (back in the day).
Firstly, he is a fucking whiny pussy, as was seen yesterday against Germany. It's been repeatedly shown that he is a prick, a diver, and an actress. Yesterday, I think it was Bastian Schweinsteiger (sp?) that tackled him, then leaped to avoid colliding against a Cristiano Ronaldo who was, unsurprisingly, already down calling for a foul. As Schweinwhateverhisnameis skipped him, Cristiano Ronaldo started rolling on the floor acting as if Schaelrhsejlanfnl had stomped on his shin, though I am sure there was no contact after the initial tackle. But that is just an example of his many antics. Brits remember the incident during the world cup in 2006 when he incited the referee to show his Man U teammate, Wayne Rooney, a red card. Whether or not the red card was deserved is a different matter, but that is not what you do to your club teammate. And now he is backstabbing his club, Man U, flirting with the shittiest team in the world, Real Madrid. What a fucking douche. I hope he goes there so I can channel all my contempt to the Spanish capital. Also, though I am no fan of the German National Team, I am very glad that Portugal are out. Deco showed he has more balls than the overrated ballerina will ever have.
Secondly, he repeatedly performs the same magic trick in the most important games. With the flick of a hand, he disappears for extended periods of time. Whether it is an extension of him being a pussy who cannot handle the pressure or it is him being marked out of the game, or a combination of both, it does not matter. This has happened so consistently in big games that it cannot be reasonably attributed to an off game, or whatever excuses his fan boys come up with. It is not a trait of a great player. The likes of Pelé, Maradona, Van Basten, Zidane, Cruyff (except the '74 final, of course), et al have consistently lived up to their expectations with awe inspiring performances when it most mattered, not in a match against Derby or Reading.
And lastly, but most importantly, a skillful player is nothing if he does not have the brain to make use of the trickery. He seems to be mentally retarded on the ball, not counting games against the likes of Wolverhampton or Birmingham, where he has kilometres of free space to afford to be a moron on the ball but still punish even more retarded overly eager Brit defenders (this is why, in my opinion, his season statistics are so flattering). But against good, or even decent, teams where defenses are organised and well positioned, an extra touch or extra fraction of a second holding on to the ball can lead to your offense running against a wall. I've seen this happen so many times with him, and I wish I had the memory and resources to come up with detailed examples. But the one that most sticks to memory, not because of magnitude but because it was yesterday, is in Portugal's goal. Cristina showed great technical skill controlling Simao's pass and setting himself against Lehman, but he took an extra fraction of a second to shoot the ball, leading him to a worse angle facing the goal. Fortunately for Portugal, the bounce fell on Nuno Gomes's boots and from there to the goal net. But in many other instances I have seen countless examples of CR's poor, or questionable at best, decision making. This may also be related to him being a pussy and making bad decisions under pressure.
OK, so the post turns out to be longer than I expected it to be. And though this is an art blog to post my drawings, those of you who know me personally knew it was only a matter of time before I talked about football. I could go on forever. By the way, the other guy next to Ronaldo is Javier, some Manure fan boy.
On another note, this makes June the most prolific month of this blog's history. OK, this isn't saying much, but that's beside the point.
I'll draw some more shit and post it later.
Bye
Monday, June 16, 2008
A dream
Although the title of this website is "Sketches of one surreal dream", none of my posts includes the product of an actual dream. Lately, though, I've been having dreams so bizarre that I feel compelled to sketch them into comic strips to document them and hope I can find some sort of pattern. Maybe then I'll be able to interpret what the dreams are about. Standing by themselves, they are like an acid trip.
The first frame shows me skateboarding along a grocery store lane. I would like to clarify that I've never done skateboarding, and I have contempt to those who cause any kind of chaos in a public space, such as skateboarding in a grocery store.
The second one shows a pretty lady that I've never seen before saying something I cannot understand. I notice her pupils are dilated, so I ask her if she's stoned.
It is not worth trying to decipher what this dream means by itself; maybe along with other dreams I plan to sketch in the future I'll come up with an analysis. For now, it is pretty entertaining, mainly because of its incoherence.
The first frame shows me skateboarding along a grocery store lane. I would like to clarify that I've never done skateboarding, and I have contempt to those who cause any kind of chaos in a public space, such as skateboarding in a grocery store.The second one shows a pretty lady that I've never seen before saying something I cannot understand. I notice her pupils are dilated, so I ask her if she's stoned.
It is not worth trying to decipher what this dream means by itself; maybe along with other dreams I plan to sketch in the future I'll come up with an analysis. For now, it is pretty entertaining, mainly because of its incoherence.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Clever inspirational phrases
My posts usually involve an offensive drawing. But lately I have seen these phrases that are meant to be inspirational but only inspire my rage because of its sheer stupidity.
For example:
"Aim for the stars, if you miss" you are fucked. If you miss badly enough you will be far from any gravitational field that you will just be floating about. Otherwise, you'll fall right back on your ass.
"Friends don't let friends do [insert something]". Really? So your friends are your parents, huh? I don't know what kind of dipshit friends you have, but I trust my friends to make their own choices. If they want to do something to fuck themselves, then let it be.
So next time you want to think of something clever to sell stickers or shirts, remember this phrase: Shut the fuck up. Not unlike "Silence is golden", only that in this case there is no room for ambiguity.
For example:
"Aim for the stars, if you miss" you are fucked. If you miss badly enough you will be far from any gravitational field that you will just be floating about. Otherwise, you'll fall right back on your ass.
"Friends don't let friends do [insert something]". Really? So your friends are your parents, huh? I don't know what kind of dipshit friends you have, but I trust my friends to make their own choices. If they want to do something to fuck themselves, then let it be.
So next time you want to think of something clever to sell stickers or shirts, remember this phrase: Shut the fuck up. Not unlike "Silence is golden", only that in this case there is no room for ambiguity.
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